make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
