There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize