you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
