i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
