Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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