Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
