Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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