let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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