i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
