brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize