We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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