My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
