guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize