I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
