your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
