i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
