Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
