that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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