i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize