wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
