never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
