I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
