she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
