gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
