Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sext me about skeletons
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
