I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
