Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
