I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
