Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
