Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
