Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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