Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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