brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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