would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
