I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
