i think my mom watched the whole time
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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