Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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