forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
