Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
