Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
