So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
