Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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