i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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