Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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