One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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