Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
