My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
