I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
birth control should be required to get into college
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
