How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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