I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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