he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
