Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
