I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
