you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
