so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
