FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
