dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
