just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
