Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
