sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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