everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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