How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
