so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
