So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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