Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
