those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
