Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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