just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
