i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
