i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize