youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize