how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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